In 2006, the legendary BZA set up the even more legendary website Fuck You Penguin. Its noble aim was to repair the cosmic imbalance by sorting out cute animals and giving them a good strong dose of reality. The site attracted a large cult following as intelligent, well rounded and basically awesome people joined the movement.
However, inevitably the animals themselves got word of BZA and his work, and were less than pleased. Species that had previously relied on their sheer cuteness to survive were now forced to go out and get meaningful jobs. There was discontent, and radical factions within the Antarctic community swore revenge.
In 2013, BZA disappeared.
Nobody knew exactly what happened, but there are rumours.
Word is that the Penguin Liberation Front and its splinter group, Justice For Seals, pulled off a daring kidnap and took BZA to their secret underground lair. No ransom was ever demanded and no trace of the FUP founder was ever found.
However, a curious phenomenon then occurred. In a bizarre case of reverse Stockholm syndrome, the captors began to listen to the teachings of their captive. Over time, a number of the penguins mutated, and sought to infiltrate human society. The first obvious step was to continue their captive’s work. FUP was reborn!
Of course, this is just the first step. The penguins are among us. Their time is at hand.
But on the bright side, in the meantime, at least we have more posts on this site to look forward to. Let’s face it, the penguin takeover is inevitable, so we may as well enjoy the ride while we can…