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koala in a Christmas tree

Get Outta My Tree (But Not Into My Car)

Posted on December 3, 2020December 3, 2020 by FU Penguin

Seriously pal, this isn’t a joke. Maybe you think you’re being cute, maybe you genuinely think you’re an angel. I honestly don’t care about your mental state.

I’ll say this one time and one time only, and then this is gonna get nasty. GET THE FUCK OFF MY CHRISTMAS TREE! Pick the pine needles out of your ass, leave my house and never return.

I hope I’ve made myself clear, but just in case you think I’m joking – I’m not. When it comes to furry animals, this is not the season of goodwill. I will kick your ass all the way back to the Eucalyptus forest if you’re not gone in the next 5 minutes.

Your call big guy.

Oh and if you’ve eaten any of my chocolates, I’ll know.

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2 thoughts on “Get Outta My Tree (But Not Into My Car)”

  1. MONICA D. says:
    March 11, 2021 at 2:16 pm

    I have read FU, Penguin three thousand two hundred fifty-five times. Mostly I love it because it makes me a little less furious at adorable animals (especially the baby ones, arGGGGhhh) for making my life meaningless because I can’t have one of each of them at my stupid condo. What a waste of a perfectly good life. Mine I mean. *sigh*

    Reply
    1. FU Penguin says:
      March 11, 2021 at 2:18 pm

      Thanks for joining us on our quest Monica. Here’s to the next 3255 reads.

      Reply

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