Horrified commuters in Manchester, UK watched as a pygmy goat tried to board a tram into the city centre WITHOUT BUYING A FUCKING TICKET!
In what was described as one of the most blatant cases of fare dodging in recent years, the goat wandered straight past the ticket machines and took its place on the platform in broad daylight. When confronted, the goat apparently shrugged off its indiscretions and indicated that it felt it was “too cute” to have to pay.
Fellow passengers can be seen frantically trying to report the crime to authorities via their mobile apps, and as a result the perpetrator, named only as “Belle” was apprehended before it was able to board.
Eye witness Thora Ramsbottom said: “I couldn’t believe what I just witnessed. I was literally apoplectic with rage. The rest of us have to pay to use this service, so why the fuck should a goat think it can use it for free just because it looks a bit cute?
“Fare dodgers just push up ticket prices for the rest of us, and they’re already too high as it is. Plus when they shit on the floor it takes the staff ages to clean and disinfect the carriages.
“Goats actually take up more floor space than humans, so if anything the fucker should have had to pay extra. I’m glad they caught it and I hope it gets the punishment it deserves.”
According to the Metrolink website, the standard penalty fare is 100 GBP. The goat will be held at the city petting zoo until its owners come forward and pay the fine.
The goat has also been banned from using any public transport in Manchester in the future.