Cats are well known for their bad attitude, but it’s normally an aloof, self-righteous one. That can be understood, if not condoned. Not this time though. This time they have gone too damn far.
Cat, you seriously expect us to believe you’re some sort of bad boy? A mean dude from a tough ‘hood who can reduce a grown man to tears with just one hard stare? I mean that is the look you’re going for isn’t it? It must be, because otherwise there would just be absolutely NO FUCKING EXCUSE for that pose.
There are plenty of harder animals than you, cat. You don’t intimidate anyone. Even the small garden birds and shrews that you hunt secretly take the piss out of you behind your back. You only eat hand selected cuts of meat in jelly, and you need a tray of gravel to even take a shit. Yet you expect us to take you seriously just because you’re trying to copy a mean pose?
Thing is cat, you pull it off about as well as I can impersonate a Bengal Tiger. Where’s the dungarees? You have no chains, in fact zero jewellery of any sort. You don’t even have a Mohawk!
Do you want a Mohawk, cat? Is that what you’re saying? Just hold still while I go get my clippers. Then we’ll see how bad your attitude really is…